The Real Man's Cookbook


INTRODUCTION

The obvious question on the reader's mind must be, "Why another cookbook?" The answer is simple. Most cookbooks are written for women and, for that reason, do not account for the delicate tastes and abilities that make up the part and parcel of a man. With the exception of barbecue, the domestic culinary arts have been closed to the typical American male.

The cookbook industry fairly screams out for a cookbook that can concisely and understandably meet the needs of average men. Many of whom, in these trying times of feminism, are forced to fend for themselves, or, as in my case, fend for their families. Or it may be that a fellow just wants to get his greasy hands on a ripe tomato and a flank steak.

Being the cook of the house, I also feel an urgent need to lay to rest notions of cooking as a pansy sport. In manly circles, it is thought of in the same light as badminton or croquette, fit only for the effeminate. In reality, cooking is more akin to the rough and tumble sport of baseball, borrowing such terms as batter, and fowl. It also requires plates and heavy mitts for effective play. It's participants need, in equal parts, power, finesse and intelligence.

Beyond sports analogies, cooking also demands the use of a vast array of tools easily as specialized as auto-mechanics or electronics. A cook may use spatulas, rolling pins and calendars. Hammers and a variety of knives come in handy, too. Not that the art of cooking is so complex that you need to take a battery of courses at the local vocational technical college to do it. Cooking is only as complex as you wish to make it. You can make a simple bowl of oatmeal in the microwave or a complex chicken cordon bleu. You can whip up a bowl of canned soup or make baklava from "scratch".

I suppose I should pause here to explain the word "scratch" so that the reader does not presume I am falling back on my baseball analogy. For a cook to make something from scratch is to attempt to throw together a palatable dish using only basic ingredients. When I say basic, I mean basic. These ingredients are the elements that form the chemical chart we were all forced to memorize in chemistry class in high school. I'm not big on scratch recipes. So to use this cookbook you will not be required to breakout your son's chemistry set. Luckily, in the modern world, most carbon based consumables have already been formulated into a readily edible substance. For example, you don't need to go through the trouble of making pie crust from flour, water and polyunsaturated gelatinized sunflower seed oil. You can get it from a box, roll it out and flop it in a tin. Or you can even buy the crust pre-made. Heck, you can just buy the whole pie frozen.

This prompts a second question, and a good question, "If I can get food pre-made, for example in a restaurant, then why bother cooking at all?"

I have racked my brain and scrounged up several good reasons. First, any real man is as much of a tight wad as I am. He can't afford to go out to dinner every night and going out on a date makes this procedure doubly expensive.

An even better reason is that no one makes food to my taste as well as I do. I know just how much paprika and hot sauce to dump into my chili and how many onions to toss into a chicken teryaki. I know enough to keep my food simple, and to avoid the baser elements on chemical chart: no molybdenum, ferrous oxide, Tang instant breakfast mix or brussel sprouts.

The best reason to cook is for the sheer joy of it. There are many who would argue with me about this. Even my own mother tells me what a drag cooking can be. But cooking is like any other activity. You get out of it in proportion to what you put into it (and this has nothing to do with Newton's law of conservation of matter and energy that we were also forced to memorize in high school). I get a bang out of cooking because I make it fun, and I make the food I like. When a dish turns out to taste good there is also the satisfaction derived from a job well done.

Finally, if it has been too long since your wife or girl friend granted you her favors, cooking works wonders where the usual pleading and begging will fail. You can pretend to be the sensitive lover, when all you have done is throw a can of mushroom soup over a slab of beef and dumped some instant mashed potatoes into a pan of boiling water.

This book is designed to show the average male what to cook, how to cook it (and like it). It is jam packed with all kinds of tips and recipes that have stood me in good stead for years, stuff that tastes good, stuff that looks good and even stuff that women will like.

Have fun and eat hearty.

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Chapters:

Introduction
General Notes
Beef
Chicken
Other White Meats
Vegetables and Salads
Soup and Sandwiches
Pasta
Desserts

Conservative Bookstore

IndexIntroNotesBeefChicken -

OtherVeg and SaladSoup and SandwichPastaDesserts


Cookbook Home | Introduction | Cooking Notes | Beef Recipes | Chicken Recipes
Other Recipes | Vegetable Recipes | Soup Recipes | Pasta Recipes | Just Desserts

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