Chicken Cordon Bleu - How to Hammer a Chicken

Chicken cordon bleu is a dish designed to dispel pansy notions about chicken preparation. This is a meal that requires the chicken be thoroughly beaten with a ballpene hammer. The procedure is impressive even though it is ostensibly accomplished AFTER the chicken is dead. You don't need a hammer to kill a chicken. To really prove your manhood, wringing its neck will suffice. Some prefer merely choking the chicken. However, this can be a messy and embarrassing procedure if accomplished in public.

Admittedly Cordon Bleu is not the easiest dish to make. Yet, it is worth the trouble and violence required. Cordon Bleu tastes great and has the added benefit of having a French sounding name that you didn't make up. Your girl friend will have heard of this one before and will be shocked at your ability to put this together.

Make the most of the situation. Serve this meal with candlelight. It is one of the few meals that you should actually go through the trouble of selecting a wine. If your spouse is sophisticated, this is a dangerous maneuver. Be careful not to get a German wine. To be safe, don't buy anything that comes in a brown bottle or seems to require that you clear your throat in order to read the label, and buy nothing that you would have bought in college that begins with the letters MD and is fondly remembered with the appellation, "Mad Dog". Instead, get something that comes in one of those tall green bottles. Chardonay is good. Even though it sounds French, an American male can pronounce the word without lisping and having his wrist go limp. There is nothing worse than sounding like a girl when you are trying to impress the little woman.

Roast Chicken Recipe | Cordon Bleu

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