As you have undoubtedly gathered by this time, I am no vegetarian. Of all the vegetables, perhaps only spinach has the right to claim a manly attraction, but only because Pop-eye could convert it so readily into a show of strength.
The great allure of Vegetarianism is a misplaced pacifism that seeks to extend human feeling to all animals. A calf's sad eyes as it watches its mother led to the slaughter house is truly a stark image. Yet if one sees life in terms of the natural order of the universe, we see that violent consumption is a fact of life for all creatures - that is either to consume or be consumed. I guess I prefer to be the consumer rather than the consumee.
The argument between us omnivores and the rag tag mass of vegetable eaters goes deeper yet, and has everything to do with gravy. A vegetarian can throw every good argument in the world at me regarding man's humanity to animals, man's greater health risks associated with eating animals or even reincarnation. One argument stops them all..."gravy". You see, I eat vegetable matter too, especially the starches, like potatoes and rice. Without some kind of gravy or at least butter, these foods taste rather bland. Human life would be meaningless without gravy.
Finally, I know some vegetarians (the most fervent fanatics on the face of the Earth when it comes to trying to convert others to their tasteless, drab existence). Some of these people could even be called my friends. The trouble they go through in order to achieve a semblance of protein in their diets is truly amazing. This leads me to believe that the human animal is not meant to be strictly vegetarian - just as he would die of scurvy if all he ate was meat.
Now that we have dispensed with the vegetarians and their arguments, it seems apropos to mention here that there are very few real men who are strictly vegetarian anyway.
For more on gravy go to the next page.
Here's the Beef:
-Beef Pot Pie
Picking out Beef
-Six Hour Stew
When to Cook Beef
Poor Man's Meat
An Irish Reverie